Identity theft involves some crazy “dark side” crap of the creepy kind, something you’d only find in movies. Make no mistake. We know it’s hard to believe, and we don’t want to believe in the LifeLocks, Identity Guards and even our own service to protect your identity against the one crime that can literally engulf your life from the inside out and make you feel like you just bit the big one with the almighty Sarlacc like Boba Fett did — but these identity theft stories will make you believe in the dark side.
Why the Force Must Be Your Ally Regarding Identity Theft
These identity theft stories will honestly freak you out — just like how The Force Awakens did (no spoilers here on the film, move on!). But it’s just a taste of the kind of damage identity theft can do if you’re not protected. These are real identity theft stories (like the story of Luke Skywalker, the Jedi, the dark side, “they’re real”). And you will be awakened. And afraid.
- Back to the Future With You — Since we’re just about to pass 2015 by, we can say bye-bye to Marty McFly and the DeLorean, but this story on identity theft will make you feel like you just went “back in time.”
- General Leia Just Turned to the Dark Side! — So many twists and turns in this space opera saga, and this little identity theft story itself will make you do a double take on a Jedi-turned-Sith-in-a-blink tale of utter disaster (we’re only kidding, though — Leia’s still good — we think).
- When Your Quiet Life Can Be Mistaken for Deadpool — You know, the “Merc With a Mouth,” or just about any renegade Marvel character with a hammer, shield, laser blaster or arrow? Right? This story is proof that identity theft can magically turn you into one of those vigilantes chased by the authorities (looks great on the silver screen, right? Just not in real life….)
- Why Anyone Can Be a Sith Lord and Not Even Know It — Seriously, anyone can turn to the dark side. Even an ewok. This identity theft story is proof that just about anyone can commit a simple crime of ID theft and receive punishment only Darth Vader can dish out.
- A Fatal Attraction With Facebook — Who knew that real life was so ripe for development into book series’, TV syndication of film release? Just read this passionate thriller of a story grounded in reality and cyberspace. It’ll make you think twice about posting any photos online without protection.
- Why Han Solo Would Be Ticked Off That Leia May Still Be Married to Two Other Men — You never know when viewing the expanse that is the universe. Not even the Millennium Falcon could find out the truth. So, yes, an unsuspecting princess may find out that she’s already married to two other people in other “planets,” and here’s how.
- Why Finn Had to Fake It to Make It in The Force Awakens — Look, we get it; we hate the First Order like we hated the Empire. But this story of mistaken identity is absolutely ridiculous, especially when it involves child pornography. We now have your attention — don’t we?
- Yes, Mission Impossible Does Exist! — Ask Tom Cruise (Ethan Hunt) yourself. This is the real deal. And you can thank identity theft crime for that. Read this story and know you might be catching the next edition of the movie franchise in real time.
These Identity Theft Stories May Be Stories, But They’re Also Real
And we thought this kind of stuff only happened in the movies. That’s how dangerous identity theft can be. It can even happen to someone like you, a poor moisture farmer from Tatooine….
But maybe if you sign up for Ultimate Identity Theft Protection, you can awaken the Force in you! And restore peace and justice to the galaxy.Share